Who Am I?

I am humbled. I do not see myself as a minister for God. I know all my weaknesses, everything that holds me back. I know my own lack of love and concern for souls. It is incredibly humbling to know that as I have opened up my life and this new experience to my friends through this blog, there are many people "watching" me, and not just people who know me anymore. Now my limited musings are being shared with others who I have never met and have the potential to impact their lives! Oh, I don't mind people sharing it with others who would be interested, but to be honest it scares me a little. Just to know that the only impression some of my readers have of me is whatever I choose to express in these writings. And I don't see anything spectacular in my life or in what I am doing with it that would be able to draw others closer to Jesus. But on second thought, it's better that way. If I thought I was anything it would be pride and God would not get the glory. So let me assure you, if you see anything here that touches or impresses you, it is Jesus Christ! May He keep me constantly in the mind that I am nothing but His vessel, created for His use, just as we would use a chair, a fork, or a pair of scissors. I was thinking about the beautiful but dusty red roads of Kigali. It reminds me of the dust from which we were made and also the clay that is used to make vessels. I am simply an ordinary clay pot. "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us." 2 Cor. 3:7 I do not really know what I am doing here, but God does! After all, does your pot know what you are doing with it? Do you suppose (if it had a mind), that it might wonder if you are going to make soup today or if you are going to boil a chicken? I don't have to know what my Maker is doing! He is going to do what He has planned and my weakness is not big enough to stand in His way! In fact, my weakness makes room for Him to work! I am reading a book written by a survivor of the genocide in Rwanda. As he is telling about how God began to use him in the years since the genocide, he makes an awesome statement: "When I offer up my lack, there is much more room for God to make up the difference." It doesn't matter what you or I lack; it could be anything. If I lack love, wisdom, understanding, and the ability to relate comfortably with people, then God is able to bring in His strength in direct proportion to my lack! So the more we can come to the brokenness and humility of our own desperate need and shortcomings, the more God can move and become visible in our lives. Thank you, my friends, for listening! It really helps me to have to think through these things so I can try to put it in words for you. It is a sort of accountability; after all, no man is an island. This trip is not just something for me to experience in the safety and privacy of my own thoughts and perspective and keep it to myself. It is a testimony to the work of God that needs to be shared with others and, in turn, others can encourage me with their perspectives that see things I can't see, and that will help me to grow more. What a blessing to have relationships! We need each other! As the body of Christ we are to encourage one another and build each other up as we grow up together into Christ, who is the head of the body. So thank you all so much for being there! I have much more to share but it will have to wait for later, and hopefully I'll be able to get some pictures up as well!