Sunday, April 25, 2010

What A Girl Wants, Raw and Honest

Beautiful (by Bethany Dillon)

I was so unique, now I feel skin deep
Count on the makeup to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
Thought I could be strong, but it's killing me
Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful, make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart and be amazed
I want to hear you say who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love, and beautiful\

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't You help me back to glory?

I want to be beautiful, make You stand in awe
Look inside my heart, and be amazed
I want to hear You say who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love...

You make me beautiful, You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love, and beautiful
You make me worthy of love, and beautiful!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nothing Impossible

I've been reading Beth Moore's book, Get Out of That Pit. She writes about God's deliverance with the wisdom and experience of one who's been in the deepest pits life can offer and was rescued at the end of her rope by the mercy of God. My mom is also going through the book with a friend and we have been discovering a lot about our own pit-dweller tendencies and how much of that we share as a family. I've been trying for years and so many different ways to gain lasting freedom from my own personal pit. I have struggled mightily with the disconnect between knowing so much truth in my head and actually believing and living it. I've always thought that I should know better. So why do I keep believing lies? Why do I jump back in the pit? To put it simply: because I want to. As Beth puts it, 'we were created out of holy passion for holy passion'. We are 'so perfectly fitted for passion that we will find it one way or another. If we don't find it in Christ, we'll find it in things like lust, anger, greed...' etc.; you fill in the blank. God is a passionate being and He created us with passionate desire. Desire is incredibly powerful. The problem is that, because of sin, our desires have become deformed. As those who have been redeemed by Christ, we hate what we do in our spirits, yet we are doing exactly what we want at the time, or what we think we want. It's the same lie that started in the Garden: God is holding out on us; and deep inside we can't trust Him because the very thing He denies us is what we want the most. I really recommend you read this book; obviously you have to read it if you want to get a grasp on what I'm talking about. But anyway, I have been reading about the process of getting out of your pit, and there are three steps, each involving your mouth. Cry out (desperately, for real deliverance); Confess (agreeing with God about your sin, about what He says about Himself and about you, spilling everything that's on your mind); and Consent (realize that your deliverance is God's will and verbally agree with this truth and comply with it). Here is what is so cool about consenting: we have to speak out the truth about God's will from His Word so we can hear it with our own ears! Why? Beth says; 'for most of us who have failed over and over, our faith nearly disintegrated because somewhere along the way we confused faith in God with faith in ourselves. We've let ourselves down so many times that now we're nearly hopeless. In reality, however, we've given ourselves way too much credit. We think we're too much for God to handle. That the strength of our personal draw into the abyss exceeds the strength of God's draw to pull us out. Hence, we've rendered ourselves virtually faithless. The process can't just begin with our faith, because our faithlessness is our biggest problem.' I have never heard someone explain that before. I have to say I totally identify with this self-dependance and faithlessness. Here is why using our mouth is so important; God says, "Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ". Rom. 10:17 Our faith can be rebuilt by hearing our own voice speaking the words of Christ into our situation. isn't that the coolest? Of course I'm still somewhat skeptical because, as she said, I've let myself down so many times and I don't know why God would want to keep bothering with me and I doubt whether He cares enough to rescue me. But I'm willing to try. Beth wrote a section at the end of the book that provides a week's worth of Scripture prayers for crying out, confessing, and consenting. This is to help you get started, until you can form your own prayers. So I just started using these prayers at night when I go to bed, and last night these lines of consent really ministered to me: "Nothing is too difficult for You, my God (Gen. 18:14). Into Your hands I commit myself. Redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth (Ps. 31:5) Praise be to You, Lord, for showing Your wonderful love to me when I was beseiged and felt cut off from Your sight. You heard my cry for mercy (Ps. 31:21-22)." I began to believe that truly nothing is too difficult for God, and He is my God; He is not giving up on me, no matter how many times I have rebelled against Him. It brought to mind the words of a song by Kari Jobe, and I want to share that with you. It speaks of the deep healing that all of us pit-dwellers need to have our deformed desires become whole and pure.

You hold my every moment. You calm my raging seas.
You walk with me through fire and heal all my disease.
I trust in You; I trust in You

I believe you're my Healer. I believe You are all I need.
I believe You're my portion. I believe You're more than enough for me.
Jesus, You're all I need.

Nothing is impossible for You; nothing is impossible. Nothing is impossible for You; You hold my world in Your hands.

I believe You're my Healer. I believe You are all I need.
I believe You're my portion. I believe You're more than enough for me.
Jesus, You're all I need.

This is the truth! I know I need to hear this over and over. Maybe you do too.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I am a woman

This one's for you, Chris! Now I know I have one faithful follower on this blog! I borrowed this one but it's so good it's worth sharing. Any woman who reads this will be amazed at the revelation of the power and influence we hold in the unseen realm. This was written by a young woman named Christiana. She grew up with her foremost desire being to love the Lord with all her heart. She is an incredible light for Him; years ago, when she was still in her teens, I believe, she and her family began a conference ministry for teen girls called Commit. It teaches girls who they are as daughters of God and encourages them to be all that God designed as women. Christiana has touched so many young girls' lives as a single woman. She is now married with a few children of her own and this is the vision God has given her as she nurtures these little lives day by day. I am not yet a mother, but I have never seen motherhood this way before. God has given us women an awesome charge. Read and be amazed!

I Am A Woman
My willingness to carry life is the revenge, the antidote, the great rebuttal of every murder, every abortion, and every genocide. I sustain humanity. Deep inside of me, life grows. I am death's opposition.

I have pushed back the hand of darkness today. I have caused there to be a weakening tremor among the ranks of those set on earth's destruction. Today a vibration that calls angels to attention echoed throughout time. Our laughter threatened hell today.

I dined with the greats of God's army. I made their meals, and tied their shoes. Today, I walked with greatness, and when they were tired I carried them. I have poured myself out for the cause today.

It is finally quiet, but life stirs inside of me. Gaining strength, the pulse of life sends a constant reminder to both good and evil that I have yielded myself to Heaven and now carry its dream. No angel has ever had such a priviledge, nor any man. I am humbled by the honor.

I am great with destiny. I birth the freedom fighters. In the great war, I am a leader of underground resistance. I smile at the disguise of my troops, surrounded by a host of warriors, destiny swirling, invisible yet tangible, and the anointing to alter history. Our footsteps marking land for conquest, we move undetected through the common places.

Today I was the barrier between evil and innocence. I was the gate keeper, watching over the hope of mankind, and no intruder trespassed. There is not an hour of day or night when I turn from my post. The fierceness of my love is unmatched on earth. And because I smiled instead of frowned the world will know the power of grace. Hope has feet, and it will run to the corners of earth, because I stood up against destruction.

I am a woman. I am a mother. I am the keeper and sustainer of life here on earth. Heaven stands in honor of my mission. No one else can carry my call. I am the daughter of Eve. Eve has been redeemed. I am the opposition of death. I am a woman.

Christianna Reed Maas, 2010