Hey. I'm back. No excuses, and no apologies. I just need to write. So I want to share something precious Jesus gave me a few weeks ago.
I'm reading a book called The Forgotten Way by Ted Dekker, and working through the companion meditation/devotional book. One of the questions dealt with how you think God sees you. As I worked through the suggested exercise, this is what Jesus put on my heart.
I close my eyes and imagine Jesus standing in front of me. He knows how I'm falling again, right now. He knows all about my fightings and fears and the countless unanswered questions about the place I'm in and the way I'm supposed to go. He knows how I'm running after my old self-soothing patterns, running everywhere but to the Fountain of Life. What does He do? What does He say as He looks at me?
I see Him smile at me with a tender gaze that cuts straight through my soul, yet is only full of light, love, and pleasure. He takes both my hands in His and draws me closer. I think He even kneels down to look up into my face like a parent does with a child, or a man with his beloved. And this is what I hear:
"Look at Me, Beloved. If you only knew what you are going to be! What I am making you! If you could see what I see...a lovely garden in full bloom, fragrant with My favorite perfumes, bearing fruit that feeds the hungry, yet never runs out...fruit that delights My soul! I delight in you! I want you...My daughter, my chosen, my beloved! Don't you remember? I died so you could be with me forever...that's how much I want you. And I long for you to delight in Me. I will not force you; delight cannot be forced. I want you to delight in Me because you love Me more than anything, because you have tasted that I am good and I satisfy Your deepest hunger!
I love you. Endlessly.
My love is not threatened by your present behavior, or by anything you will do in the future. My love for you is not measured by your level or lack of desire, surrender, passion, or faith. My love for you, daughter, is measureless and limitless. I don't see what you are now, in the skin of earth. The veil of mortality is invisible to My eyes and I see what you will be. I see My own reflection in your eyes and in your soul! Come to Me and I will satisfy you! Look to Me and I will save you! Walk with Me and I will carry you when you cannot take another step.
Don't listen to the poison whispers of the snake. I hurt for you when you listen and believe his accusations. That is not who you are. You are Mine! Not half Mine. Not sometimes Mine. Fully Mine! The evil one cannot touch you. He can only cast an illusion of darkness around you, and only if you allow him. Open your eyes, my Love! I'm right here...I'm always here with You! I am in you...closer than your heartbeat!
You are untouchable because you are Mine. You are unstoppable because you are Mine. Nothing can threaten you.
Because it's all about who I am making of you. And at the end of it all, you will still be safe in Me. With Me.
And you will be like Me, because you will finally see Me as I am. And so you will see yourself in My eyes.
It's all true. WAKE UP, Sleeping Beauty! Remember WHO I AM! I Am your Truth. I Am your Way. And I Am your Life."