All this earth....
Could all that is lost ever be found...
Could a garden come up from this ground at all....
You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust....
You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us.
-Beautiful Things by Gungor
These lyrics created my sound track earlier this evening as I wandered through an ancient cemetery littered with broken-down headstones and the dried-out stumps of once noble trees.
Why was I wandering through a cemetery, you may ask? For one, because I like it. I find a sacred sort of hush settling over my soul in a cemetery. Especially a really old cemetery.
Secondly, I took a side trip into the cemetery in my quest to gain higher ground from which to view the sunset. After a few hours of lingering in the woods, I was on my way home as God's brush strokes began to color the western sky. Incidentally, I have a boss who chases sunsets. I love that! He took a friend and I on a sunset chase the other week. I had never chased a sunset in a car before, but they do have a way of catching my breath and demanding my attention with a holy kind of awe. Anyway, chasing a sunset on foot is a little tough, so when I saw the cemetery on higher ground, I went for it. I believe God put the song Beautiful Things on my heart to play on my phone as I walked onto that little piece of long-forsaken ground.
You see, I'd been praying out in the woods. I had to do some dragon slaying today. In the midst of trying to figure out how best to function in the intensity of Lamplighter Ministries, how to let go to God when I'm in over my head, and trying to face the question of why God brought me here and where I fit in this picture, the enemy has been gnawing at the edges of my soul. He's been whispering suggestive memories into my mind, memories of broken cisterns left behind. Wearing away my resistance, murmuring that I need some outlet, some way to release the pressure building up....reminding me that I can still go back to a comfortable addiction....that my escape hatch is never far away.
Thank God, I am not unaware of the dragon's devices. I know exactly what He's trying to do. When he sees one of God's blood-bought children getting dangerously close to his borders, and he perceives that this one is about to become a real threat to his kingdom, the enemy will do anything to stop it. He knows the hold a particular addiction had on me, and he is trying desperately to lure me back.
I believe my Father has brought me to Lamplighter at this time to do a new work in my life. I believe I'm standing on the brink of falling deeper in love with Jesus and discovering a life of more abundance and more power and yes, more warfare than I've ever imagined. Satan wants to cut me off at the knees. He'd take me back to the point of no return if he could. But when he messes with God's children, he messes with our Daddy! And our Daddy says, "Ain't nobody gonna mess with My child!" And He gives us an arsenal of Truth and Love to throw at the dragon. I let Satan have it today! I think it always comes back to remembering who we are. I am Christ's! Satan cannot have my mind, he cannot have my potential, he cannot have my time, he cannot have my effectiveness, he cannot have my life! I am Christ's, and Christ will not give me up!
After I gave Satan what for, Father and I had a sweet time together. I was praying simply and honestly for all His children, specifically the Church in America. Over the weekend, we had a Lamplighter staff training and retreat, where we fed richly on God's Word and were challenged with a message that made us look honestly at the dire picture of Christianity in today's culture, but also sounded a trumpet blast of hope. We learned that God works in and through individual lives to change the big picture of the world. He can use as many or as few as He chooses to win mighty victories for His kingdom. If we want to be prepared for God's use, we must have a vision, both of what the world could look like, and what we want our own lives to look like as we move in pursuit of the promises of God.
This is only a condensed bit of the Scripture feast we had during our retreat. But the point that God had me focused on in my prayer today was that although this world is a dark place where Christians have largely been driven into holes in the ground, metaphorically speaking, all He is looking for is a Daniel. God is looking for one who will stand out and shine like a star in an ocean of night. He wants to use me. And He wants to use you. And even when we look at our lives and see all this wasted time, wasted opportunities, wasted potential....even when we feel like the dried-up bones of a dead army....even when we realize that we've been drinking from polluted wells and neglecting the Fountain of Life and we're dying of thirst in the desert....even if we question how God could possibly redeem the Church of America today, or how He could redeem our own lives and use us to bring His kingdom on earth....
....our Father is the God who breathes life into dry bones. The great I Am who created everything out of nothing. The God who uses a few faithful men to defeat armies of thousands. The God who has promised to make everything new. The God who never stops doing good to His children, despite our desert wanderings and our adulteries and all the times we cower in holes trying to hide from the enemy and the days when we realize we've become captives in a heathen land and we think it's really all over. Our Father is the Author of life, the Artist who creates beauty out of dust, joy out of hopelessness, life out of death, valiant overcomers out of trembling cowards.
In that light, it seems fitting to walk through a graveyard singing about all that is lost being found and beautiful things coming out of the dust. From the dust we came, and to dust we shall return. But that is not our ending. Because our Father is the Beginning and the End. He is our home. He is our destiny. His immortal breath is in our spirits. And He is endless. We stand on the brink of forever. And when this earth of dust is dissolved, our God will make all things new. The lost will be found. All the sad things will come untrue. Death will be swallowed up in victory! Mortality will give way to immortality. And the King of Kings will have His bride, pure and holy and white as a lily....perfectly one with Him into infinity!
And there will be no more straining for partially veiled glimpses of the sunset from cemeteries. We're going to walk straight into the sunrise, into God's country, where there is no night.
So from one speck of beautiful dust to another.....
Remember Whose you are. Rise up and shine. We will overcome the dragon.....by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. Worthy is the Lamb who was slain!
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Hold On Tight!
Now that I am two weeks into my internship, I shall attempt to describe Lamplighter Ministries in one word.....
Intense.
Working here feels rather like hitching a ride on a runaway train. Awesome and scary! Spontaneity is a regular occurrence at Lamplighter, and there's a sense of wondering when the train is going to jump off the tracks....or am I going to get thrown?
I like that word picture because it's dramatic. I don't mean to sound like I'm literally hanging on for dear life, but let me just say this isn't a normal place. I mean that in a good way. But some days I have felt like I'm inwardly hanging on for dear life....just trying to sort out the multitude of information coming at me and get some sense of my place here.
It's too soon to tell if I love working at Lamplighter. There are some things I love, let's put it that way. I always need an adjustment period in a new place, however, I'm not sure Lamplighter Ministries is the kind of place you can ever truly adjust to! I'm not sure how to even explain this. Lamplighter is a small organization with enormous dreams and expectations. The small group of staff and interns clustered at the headquarters is like Gideon's band of 300 men against a vast army of Midianites! To the human mind, it seems impossible to try to accomplish all that Lamplighter has in the works, and to do it to the highest degree of excellence, with such a small number of people. Yet God has moved in miraculous ways over and over again on behalf of this small band. It's exciting to be part of a group that has seen God come through in dramatic ways. When my time here is finished, I want to be able to leave with stories that strengthen my faith and dependence on God and make His glory evident to everyone I tell.
Our schedule here doesn't allow for a lot of extracurricular time, so if I don't make myself sit down and write something every so often, it's not going to happen! So rather than continue with my deep thinking which doesn't tell my readers a whole lot, let me tell you about some of the adventures of the past two weeks.
The very day I arrived in Mount Morris, I got to ride along on an errand to Rochester and experience an epic build-your-own pizza place....I'm no longer certain that authentic Chicago deep dish is the best pizza I ever had!
My first official day of work as an intern, I saw a nineteenth-century pipe organ dismantled to make space for a recording studio on the Lamplighter campus! This gorgeous organ was built into the old church building that Lamplighter purchased and now uses as a book bindery and warehouse, among other things. The organ no longer played and would have cost a pretty penny to repair. A recording studio is high on the list of dreams for this ministry, as they have produced 18 dramatic radio theatre albums that air on 1800 radio stations in 29 countries! The team is gearing up to go to London at the end of February and record two new dramas. So you can imagine how wonderful it would be to have a studio on campus where they can continue to record these life-changing stories....and think of the excitement of having world-class actors visiting the little village of Mount Morris! In just two weeks, the transformation from organ to recording studio is almost finished; now we are awaiting funds to begin designing the acoustics and install equipment.
Over the past week in particular, I have been hard at work editing and updating the website for the 2016 Lamplighter Guild....a fun though oftentimes frustrating project. I'm learning just how much work goes into managing a website....there are so many details to keep track of and it's easy to miss little things if you are not giving your full attention. I really am enjoying the work on Guild details, since the Guild had a major impact on my life, and that is what brought me here to Lamplighter!
I've also spent a little time in the bindery, learning the process of making books by hand (with a little help from machines). Printing, cutting, cover-making, separating out the individual book blocks, gluing spines, more cutting, head-banding, cover-stamping, and gluing the finished cover on the book...it's given me a much greater appreciation for the aesthetic quality of Lamplighter books!
Everyone has been involved in a lot of clean up....as you can imagine, tearing out the guts of a huge pipe organ and building the insides of the studio room makes for a great mess! We spent hours organizing over 700 pipes of various size and shape, plus other sundry organ pieces, into storage. Plus wiping century-old dirt off wood pieces. Plus cleaning up the sawdust that floated all over everything in the former church sanctuary.
The other interns and I have gotten crash courses in various computer programs, taken jaunts around the town with Mark Hamby, our boss, for various business related purposes, learned the basics of how to find out who owns property, visited the best coffee shop in New York, took a moonlit tour through the woods, done "fake" work for a catalog photo shoot, etc, etc, etc!
Somewhere in the midst of all this I've had a few chances to ramble in the woods and hike in nearby Letchworth State Park. This coming weekend, we are having a staff training/retreat at the park, so we will hopefully get to see a lot more of this gorgeous area they call the Grand Canyon of the East. Waterfalls, here I come! You won't catch me complaining about this unusually warm winter....but it would be fun to have enough snow to go tubing in the park, just for one day!
There is so much more that has been packed into the last two and a half weeks, but I hope this will give you somewhat of a picture of what I'm doing so far. I will try to make time to write on the weekends when it is not late at night and my brain is not dead! Thanks for coming along with me on this wild ride....it is never boring here at Lamplighter!
Everyone has been involved in a lot of clean up....as you can imagine, tearing out the guts of a huge pipe organ and building the insides of the studio room makes for a great mess! We spent hours organizing over 700 pipes of various size and shape, plus other sundry organ pieces, into storage. Plus wiping century-old dirt off wood pieces. Plus cleaning up the sawdust that floated all over everything in the former church sanctuary.
The other interns and I have gotten crash courses in various computer programs, taken jaunts around the town with Mark Hamby, our boss, for various business related purposes, learned the basics of how to find out who owns property, visited the best coffee shop in New York, took a moonlit tour through the woods, done "fake" work for a catalog photo shoot, etc, etc, etc!
Somewhere in the midst of all this I've had a few chances to ramble in the woods and hike in nearby Letchworth State Park. This coming weekend, we are having a staff training/retreat at the park, so we will hopefully get to see a lot more of this gorgeous area they call the Grand Canyon of the East. Waterfalls, here I come! You won't catch me complaining about this unusually warm winter....but it would be fun to have enough snow to go tubing in the park, just for one day!
There is so much more that has been packed into the last two and a half weeks, but I hope this will give you somewhat of a picture of what I'm doing so far. I will try to make time to write on the weekends when it is not late at night and my brain is not dead! Thanks for coming along with me on this wild ride....it is never boring here at Lamplighter!
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Beyond The Wardrobe: Further In And Further Up!
"HIS divine power has granted to us ALL things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of HIM who called us to HIS OWN glory and excellence, by which HE has granted to us HIS precious and VERY GREAT promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature....." 2 Peter 1:3-4
Friends, it is my delight to share with you the new door God has opened to me as I seek to probe further into His heart and climb further up in the purposes of His kingdom!
If you have been following my posts about the Lamplighter Guild and the impact that it made on my life, then you can probably imagine how thrilled I would be at the chance to become more involved with the ministry behind it. When I learned that Lamplighter Ministries has internship opportunities for former Guild students, a seed was planted in my mind. I began praying about the possibility soon after Guild week.
Every student was sent a post-guild survey to fill out, allowing us to give feedback on the week....what God taught us, what we enjoyed the most, how can they make it better, etc. It took me over a week to sit down and fill mine out, because I had so much to testify about my experience that I didn't know where to start. Imagine my surprise when I received an email in response to my survey, saying that they saw something in my writing which caused them to ask if I'd be interested in doing some writing for Lamplighter Ministries! I was overwhelmed with the possibilities that seemed to be suddenly blooming on my horizon...you see, I had already been approached about the opportunity in Romania. I was praying about that and already sensed that it was a God thing. So now I began to wonder if I could do both....go to Romania and write for Lamplighter! I sincerely hoped the two would not oppose each other, because I thought both were open doors from God. Working with Lamplighter was becoming my new dream, and I was intensely interested in pursuing the invitation!
Over the course of the next several days I was in contact with Lamplighter leadership and waiting to hear more details on what they had in mind, yet I knew that I needed to give my answer about Romania soon. As I was praying one morning about the tension in my heart, God showed me that I was holding back from deciding about Romania out of fear that I would lose the Lamplighter opportunity, but that I had no valid reason not to say yes. I believe He was telling me to give my yes to Romania in faith and surrender the results to Him. So that day I wrote to my missionary friends and told them I was coming to Romania. And the very next day, I was finally able to speak with someone about the opportunity with Lamplighter. I learned that what they had in mind would require me to come to their headquarters and start within weeks....even sooner than I would have been free from my current commitment with my grandparents. Because I had already made the decision to go to Romania, the timing would not work out. Yet even during that conversation, I had peace that I made the right decision, and in my heart I knew that the door to Lamplighter could still be open for another time. They encouraged me to pray about coming for an internship, which was already on my heart.
So during the next few months, as we worked to get my grandparents through their transition and I embarked on my two-month venture in Romania, I continued to pray about Lamplighter. The dream to work with the ministry in whatever capacity I could stayed alive in my heart, and shortly before I returned from Romania, I officially applied for an internship. By the time I got home, I was 90 percent sure that I'd be going to serve with Lamplighter Ministries.
The month and a half since has been a time of wrestling, of seeking confirmation, of discussing details with Lamplighter leadership, of fighting enemy attack....all in the midst of the holiday clamor at home and travels and family drama! This has felt like an uphill climb! But if it had been smooth sailing, there would be cause for concern. Lamplighter is a God-honoring, fast expanding ministry....a bright light in the darkness....and the team there is frequently experiencing enemy attack because of the threat they pose to Satan's kingdom. It should come as no surprise that I've been under attack in my quest to join them....in fact, I take it as confirmation that God is leading me there!
What is Lamplighter all about, you may ask? At the close of Jesus' earthly ministry, before He returned to Heaven, He gave all of His present and future followers a command: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations....teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you...." Matthew 28:19-20
Biblical discipleship is at the heart of Lamplighter's ministry. Borrowing from their website, 'The mission of Lamplighter Ministries is to make ready a people prepared for the Lord, by building Christ-like character one story at a time.' How did Jesus communicate life-changing truths? Through story telling. As a publisher of exemplary books and creator of compelling audio dramas, Lamplighter Ministries strives to produce stories that will do the same. Since the printing of their first book in 1997, Lamplighter now has over 200 titles....each carefully chosen because the Word of God comes alive in these stories with the power to transform lives. As they seek to creatively connect God's Word to the hearts of those who are perishing, the leadership at Lamplighter is also committed to inspire and motivate the next generation of Christ's disciples to live a life of excellence.
Their focus is two-fold: 'Preparing people to serve the Lord through internal character development and external career preparation.' 2 Peter 1 tells us that as followers of Christ, we are called to partner with Him in His divine nature! As Master Creator, Jesus' nature is to create....and He invites each one of us to imitate and reflect His creative excellence in the unique gifts He has given to us, in a way that tells His redemptive story to the world.
The mission of Lamplighter's internship program is, and I quote: 'to promote the development of gifts and talents in an atmosphere where passion and faith meet purpose. Each intern will be encouraged to grow in wisdom and an intimate knowledge of God's Word, to become a lifelong learner, and a dedicated follower and creative reflection of Jesus Christ.' I believe God is leading me to Lamplighter as an opportunity to embark on a path of greater discovery. My hope is to discover how I can develop and cultivate my God-given abilities into the highest level of skill and excellence. As an intern, I will be there to serve the ministry wherever there is need. This may or may not involve writing, which is my primary creative passion, but there will be plenty of opportunities to learn and grow. The possibilities include work in the book bindery and bookstore, assisting with office support, customer service, promotion and marketing, landscaping and general maintenance.
This is not a platform for self-promotion, but rather a stage for God to showcase His incredible strength through my weakness. I've been fighting a lot of fear and doubt because I know my history, I know my own failure to make the most of every opportunity, and I know I am not sufficient for the task that lies before me.....BUT MY GOD IS! In His amazing mercy, God continues to work to strip away self so that I can fix my eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and the Finisher of my faith! I've been told to expect my weaknesses to be exposed in my time with Lamplighter, and that the more vulnerable I'm willing to be, the greater potential there is for growth and transformation. With this in mind, my prayer is that God develops the humility of Christ in me, teaches me to glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me, and brings me to the full conviction of His all-sufficient nature!
This post is my attempt to create a basic picture of where I am headed for the next few months. I hope it is coherent and interesting. I'm leaving in two days (this Friday!), it feels a bit like jumping off a cliff, and focus is hard to hold onto in the chaos of last-minute preparations. I will be interning at Lamplighter headquarters in Mount Morris, New York. The internship is potentially three months long, but it will be evaluated one month at a time. There may be possibilities of a longer, more in-depth internship after three months. I hope to keep my readers informed about my doings, but I don't know how much time I'll have for blogging. However, keep your eyes open for a Facebook page where I will try to keep my friends updated, post prayer needs, and provide links to any related blogging. I will also post links to Lamplighter's website, for those who are interested.
Until next time, my friends.....let us run with endurance the race set before us! "Behold, I AM with you always, to the end of the age." -Jesus, from Matthew28:20
Friends, it is my delight to share with you the new door God has opened to me as I seek to probe further into His heart and climb further up in the purposes of His kingdom!
If you have been following my posts about the Lamplighter Guild and the impact that it made on my life, then you can probably imagine how thrilled I would be at the chance to become more involved with the ministry behind it. When I learned that Lamplighter Ministries has internship opportunities for former Guild students, a seed was planted in my mind. I began praying about the possibility soon after Guild week.
Every student was sent a post-guild survey to fill out, allowing us to give feedback on the week....what God taught us, what we enjoyed the most, how can they make it better, etc. It took me over a week to sit down and fill mine out, because I had so much to testify about my experience that I didn't know where to start. Imagine my surprise when I received an email in response to my survey, saying that they saw something in my writing which caused them to ask if I'd be interested in doing some writing for Lamplighter Ministries! I was overwhelmed with the possibilities that seemed to be suddenly blooming on my horizon...you see, I had already been approached about the opportunity in Romania. I was praying about that and already sensed that it was a God thing. So now I began to wonder if I could do both....go to Romania and write for Lamplighter! I sincerely hoped the two would not oppose each other, because I thought both were open doors from God. Working with Lamplighter was becoming my new dream, and I was intensely interested in pursuing the invitation!
Over the course of the next several days I was in contact with Lamplighter leadership and waiting to hear more details on what they had in mind, yet I knew that I needed to give my answer about Romania soon. As I was praying one morning about the tension in my heart, God showed me that I was holding back from deciding about Romania out of fear that I would lose the Lamplighter opportunity, but that I had no valid reason not to say yes. I believe He was telling me to give my yes to Romania in faith and surrender the results to Him. So that day I wrote to my missionary friends and told them I was coming to Romania. And the very next day, I was finally able to speak with someone about the opportunity with Lamplighter. I learned that what they had in mind would require me to come to their headquarters and start within weeks....even sooner than I would have been free from my current commitment with my grandparents. Because I had already made the decision to go to Romania, the timing would not work out. Yet even during that conversation, I had peace that I made the right decision, and in my heart I knew that the door to Lamplighter could still be open for another time. They encouraged me to pray about coming for an internship, which was already on my heart.
So during the next few months, as we worked to get my grandparents through their transition and I embarked on my two-month venture in Romania, I continued to pray about Lamplighter. The dream to work with the ministry in whatever capacity I could stayed alive in my heart, and shortly before I returned from Romania, I officially applied for an internship. By the time I got home, I was 90 percent sure that I'd be going to serve with Lamplighter Ministries.
The month and a half since has been a time of wrestling, of seeking confirmation, of discussing details with Lamplighter leadership, of fighting enemy attack....all in the midst of the holiday clamor at home and travels and family drama! This has felt like an uphill climb! But if it had been smooth sailing, there would be cause for concern. Lamplighter is a God-honoring, fast expanding ministry....a bright light in the darkness....and the team there is frequently experiencing enemy attack because of the threat they pose to Satan's kingdom. It should come as no surprise that I've been under attack in my quest to join them....in fact, I take it as confirmation that God is leading me there!
What is Lamplighter all about, you may ask? At the close of Jesus' earthly ministry, before He returned to Heaven, He gave all of His present and future followers a command: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations....teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you...." Matthew 28:19-20
Biblical discipleship is at the heart of Lamplighter's ministry. Borrowing from their website, 'The mission of Lamplighter Ministries is to make ready a people prepared for the Lord, by building Christ-like character one story at a time.' How did Jesus communicate life-changing truths? Through story telling. As a publisher of exemplary books and creator of compelling audio dramas, Lamplighter Ministries strives to produce stories that will do the same. Since the printing of their first book in 1997, Lamplighter now has over 200 titles....each carefully chosen because the Word of God comes alive in these stories with the power to transform lives. As they seek to creatively connect God's Word to the hearts of those who are perishing, the leadership at Lamplighter is also committed to inspire and motivate the next generation of Christ's disciples to live a life of excellence.
Their focus is two-fold: 'Preparing people to serve the Lord through internal character development and external career preparation.' 2 Peter 1 tells us that as followers of Christ, we are called to partner with Him in His divine nature! As Master Creator, Jesus' nature is to create....and He invites each one of us to imitate and reflect His creative excellence in the unique gifts He has given to us, in a way that tells His redemptive story to the world.
The mission of Lamplighter's internship program is, and I quote: 'to promote the development of gifts and talents in an atmosphere where passion and faith meet purpose. Each intern will be encouraged to grow in wisdom and an intimate knowledge of God's Word, to become a lifelong learner, and a dedicated follower and creative reflection of Jesus Christ.' I believe God is leading me to Lamplighter as an opportunity to embark on a path of greater discovery. My hope is to discover how I can develop and cultivate my God-given abilities into the highest level of skill and excellence. As an intern, I will be there to serve the ministry wherever there is need. This may or may not involve writing, which is my primary creative passion, but there will be plenty of opportunities to learn and grow. The possibilities include work in the book bindery and bookstore, assisting with office support, customer service, promotion and marketing, landscaping and general maintenance.
This is not a platform for self-promotion, but rather a stage for God to showcase His incredible strength through my weakness. I've been fighting a lot of fear and doubt because I know my history, I know my own failure to make the most of every opportunity, and I know I am not sufficient for the task that lies before me.....BUT MY GOD IS! In His amazing mercy, God continues to work to strip away self so that I can fix my eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and the Finisher of my faith! I've been told to expect my weaknesses to be exposed in my time with Lamplighter, and that the more vulnerable I'm willing to be, the greater potential there is for growth and transformation. With this in mind, my prayer is that God develops the humility of Christ in me, teaches me to glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me, and brings me to the full conviction of His all-sufficient nature!
This post is my attempt to create a basic picture of where I am headed for the next few months. I hope it is coherent and interesting. I'm leaving in two days (this Friday!), it feels a bit like jumping off a cliff, and focus is hard to hold onto in the chaos of last-minute preparations. I will be interning at Lamplighter headquarters in Mount Morris, New York. The internship is potentially three months long, but it will be evaluated one month at a time. There may be possibilities of a longer, more in-depth internship after three months. I hope to keep my readers informed about my doings, but I don't know how much time I'll have for blogging. However, keep your eyes open for a Facebook page where I will try to keep my friends updated, post prayer needs, and provide links to any related blogging. I will also post links to Lamplighter's website, for those who are interested.
Until next time, my friends.....let us run with endurance the race set before us! "Behold, I AM with you always, to the end of the age." -Jesus, from Matthew28:20
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Romania: Turning The Page
Hello my dear friends and readers! My apologies for not posting more while I was abroad. Writing is my passion, but it also requires a large investment of personal time and concentration for me to capture my thoughts and impressions and pin them to the page. Sometimes I chose to invest time in the people around me rather than write....and other times I was just plain lazy. So now I find myself a month past the end of my short sojourn in Romania, but I would like to share with you a bit more of what we did while I was there.
Since Thanksgiving is an American holiday, it is not traditionally celebrated in Romania, although I believe some Romanians have adopted a Thanksgiving Day of sorts....I'm not quite clear on that, though. The missionaries who work together in this city have a big Thanksgiving meal and celebration with friends, but this year they were waiting for Scott and Carolyn to return from the States. So we had no special plans for the day, but I wanted to do something to celebrate, since I couldn't be with my family. I invited our friend Edith to join us for dinner. It wasn't turkey with all the trimmings (I confess, I bought rotisserie chicken to make it easy on myself)....but we made a yummy meal, shared it with a friend, and enjoyed a game of Sequence....followed by dessert! We enjoyed ourselves quite well.
One chilly Saturday, the girls started pulling out Christmas decorations and craft supplies. They love getting creative with crafts! The four of us ended up making hours of fun with glitter, glue, and foam cutouts.
By late November, Christmas had come to the city! I can handle living in the city for short periods of time, but it is definitely not my abode of choice. However, I do love the way cities get decked out for the holidays! One Sunday evening, the girls and I enjoyed a stroll through the light-decked center of Arad. There was a rock concert going on, and let me tell you, the place was packed!
Then on the first of December, we hopped on a train to visit the nearby city of Timisoara for the day and see the festivities in honor of Romania's national Union Day! This is the celebration of three major regions becoming the country of Romania. That happened in 1918, if I remember correctly. Of course, you can always google it if you really want to know! We met a friend who lives in that city and spent the afternoon eating and hanging out at the lavish mall. In the evening, we all walked to the town center and participated in the countdown to officially light up the night! The display in Timisoara is bigger and more beautiful than Arad's. The center was packed with people and it started raining later in the evening, but we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.
As you can see, we made a lot of fun memories! Everyone loves sightseeing and celebrations, but I am also grateful for the many little daily opportunities God gave me to enter into the girls' lives. Things like attending Friday night youth church with them, working together to help clean the church and set up for a garage sale that raised money for a new church building, going to watch a basketball game, walks and photo shoots in the park and with the dogs, eating together, practicing Romanian words, playing basketball, going to the movies. Ana and I were able to read all the way through the Jesus Storybook Bible by the time I left. This was a special bonding time for the two of us, and it was great to watch her grow in her English reading skill and to talk about the Scriptures together.
I wish I had something really profound to wrap up my two months in Romania, but I don’t. Maybe the profundity of life is hidden in the small things. Like day by day, moment by moment, just being faithful in the things God puts before us. Learning to be present for the people around us. Smiles. Laughter. Making paper Christmas chains with mental patients. Cuddling and playing with a baby in the hospital. Reading Bible stories from a kids’ book. Fitting puzzles together with a friend. Glue and glitter and creativity around the table. Playing a game. Eating together. Hugs. Playing worship music. Popcorn and a movie.
I don't know if God will call me back to Romania. He may take me someplace altogether different. Maybe He will plug me into a place where He wants me to fully invest my heart for the long-term. Or maybe I'll always be a wanderer. But I believe that my Sovereign God uses every situation, circumstance, opportunity, and person in my life to shape me according to His purpose....that I may be a vessel fit for His glory and a bold proclaimer of His story to the world.
Since Thanksgiving is an American holiday, it is not traditionally celebrated in Romania, although I believe some Romanians have adopted a Thanksgiving Day of sorts....I'm not quite clear on that, though. The missionaries who work together in this city have a big Thanksgiving meal and celebration with friends, but this year they were waiting for Scott and Carolyn to return from the States. So we had no special plans for the day, but I wanted to do something to celebrate, since I couldn't be with my family. I invited our friend Edith to join us for dinner. It wasn't turkey with all the trimmings (I confess, I bought rotisserie chicken to make it easy on myself)....but we made a yummy meal, shared it with a friend, and enjoyed a game of Sequence....followed by dessert! We enjoyed ourselves quite well.
One chilly Saturday, the girls started pulling out Christmas decorations and craft supplies. They love getting creative with crafts! The four of us ended up making hours of fun with glitter, glue, and foam cutouts.
By late November, Christmas had come to the city! I can handle living in the city for short periods of time, but it is definitely not my abode of choice. However, I do love the way cities get decked out for the holidays! One Sunday evening, the girls and I enjoyed a stroll through the light-decked center of Arad. There was a rock concert going on, and let me tell you, the place was packed!
Then on the first of December, we hopped on a train to visit the nearby city of Timisoara for the day and see the festivities in honor of Romania's national Union Day! This is the celebration of three major regions becoming the country of Romania. That happened in 1918, if I remember correctly. Of course, you can always google it if you really want to know! We met a friend who lives in that city and spent the afternoon eating and hanging out at the lavish mall. In the evening, we all walked to the town center and participated in the countdown to officially light up the night! The display in Timisoara is bigger and more beautiful than Arad's. The center was packed with people and it started raining later in the evening, but we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.
In front of the grand orthodox cathedral in Victory Square.
Two of the girls with our friend Andrea.
The Opera House through a veil of lights!
As you can see, we made a lot of fun memories! Everyone loves sightseeing and celebrations, but I am also grateful for the many little daily opportunities God gave me to enter into the girls' lives. Things like attending Friday night youth church with them, working together to help clean the church and set up for a garage sale that raised money for a new church building, going to watch a basketball game, walks and photo shoots in the park and with the dogs, eating together, practicing Romanian words, playing basketball, going to the movies. Ana and I were able to read all the way through the Jesus Storybook Bible by the time I left. This was a special bonding time for the two of us, and it was great to watch her grow in her English reading skill and to talk about the Scriptures together.
I wish I had something really profound to wrap up my two months in Romania, but I don’t. Maybe the profundity of life is hidden in the small things. Like day by day, moment by moment, just being faithful in the things God puts before us. Learning to be present for the people around us. Smiles. Laughter. Making paper Christmas chains with mental patients. Cuddling and playing with a baby in the hospital. Reading Bible stories from a kids’ book. Fitting puzzles together with a friend. Glue and glitter and creativity around the table. Playing a game. Eating together. Hugs. Playing worship music. Popcorn and a movie.
Like learning
a new language, life often feels like it is made up of a lot of disjointed
“words”….unrelated events, random encounters….making sounds but not making much
sense. It is hard to put full sentences
together, let alone have an intelligible conversation! Living intentionally doesn’t come easy….it
takes long, hard practice. Daily
practice. If we take the time to
contemplate our life and make the effort to live well, day after day, I believe we will
begin to see patterns and better recognize the hand of God. God gives moments of clarity, but they may
come years down the road.
I don't know if God will call me back to Romania. He may take me someplace altogether different. Maybe He will plug me into a place where He wants me to fully invest my heart for the long-term. Or maybe I'll always be a wanderer. But I believe that my Sovereign God uses every situation, circumstance, opportunity, and person in my life to shape me according to His purpose....that I may be a vessel fit for His glory and a bold proclaimer of His story to the world.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
The Backyard
I intended to post a wrap-up on my stay in Romania....truly I did! I've been back in the States for nearly a month now…..I’m obviously a little behind. Or a lot behind! First I blamed it on jet lag. After that, I don't know exactly what happened. I crashed. And life won't stop. The next bend in the road is coming up fast! So I've never gone back to finish what I started....and I did start that post, I really did! Maybe I'll get back to it? But for now, I’d like to share something that God put on my heart after I returned from Romania.
One night,
as I was lying in bed, I asked God a question. “What happened?”
Meaning,
what happened to that passionate thirst for His fellowship, to those rich, deep
hours spent with Him, drinking in new insights He was showing me after the Lamplighter
Guild this past summer? What happened to my new purpose
to begin doing battle in prayer after seeing the movie War Room back in August….the
determination to fight back against the enemy’s bid for my effectiveness, my
fruitfulness, my potential in God’s kingdom? What happened to those intentions
I had when I left for Romania….that I was going to use my free time to learn
prayer warfare and to write more consistently?
“Lord…..what
happened?”
Would you
like to know what He said?
He brought
to my mind these lines from a song. It
pictures something similar to a quote I’ve heard from C.S Lewis, I
believe. He was talking about how weak
our desires are compared to what God wants to give us and to do in our
lives. Lewis said we are like children
making mud pies in the slums, and we just go on doing this in our blissful
ignorance, because we can’t even imagine what is meant by the offer of a
holiday on the seashore. We are far too
easily satisfied. These are the words
that came to me….
“There you
are in the backyard
Covered in
mud in the backyard
If you only
knew the joy I have for you
But you’re
far too pleased in the backyard.”
And I get
it. My backyard consists of the things
of this earth that dazzle and distract, that split my focus and prevent me from
being fully effective in anything to which I set my hand.
It’s my smartphone,
which after my choice to leave it off the grid for my two months overseas has
inexplicably entangled me in its time-sucking vortex just as much as I was
before! It’s things like Facebook and
Youtube that play on my tendency to sit and kill time because I feel too lazy
or too tired to do something better. It’s the ads and promotions and sales that are sent to my email and
plastered in the store windows, calling me to hurry into the stores and look
for bargains for Christmas gifts, or maybe just some new additions to my
wardrobe. It's the spirit of laziness that entices me every morning to stay in bed just a little longer. It's spending all my time being busy with my hands because then I feel like I'm accomplishing something. Sometimes it is even worship
music, which, although it feeds my soul and lifts my spirits, I often allow to become all this noise that drowns out the still, small voice of the Holy
Spirit and never allows me to quiet myself enough to listen.
I’m like a
kid making mudpies in the backyard when my Father has planned this
extraordinary adventure to the seashore and the mountains. He wants to show me so much more than I can
imagine, but for the most part, I am content with my small world and small
desires. I like to dream of far-off
adventure and the glories of eternity…but to actually leave my puddle and walk away from what feels like security and comfort in the little fenced-in
yard? It is difficult to focus your eyes
on the horizon when they have been stubbornly fixed on the ground beneath your
nose all day long.
So what will
I do with this? How can I fight against
the enemy’s strategy to bind me to small-mindedness?
I don’t know
all the answers. For all the Word I have
in my head, my sword arm still feels so weak. But the Word tells me that I must choose by faith, every day, to see
what is unseen. To lift my eyes from my
mudpies and see what God sees. “If then
you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ
is seated at the right hand of God. Set
your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden
with Christ in God. When Christ, who is
your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.”
Colossians 3:1-4
So what does
it mean to set my mind on things above? How do I practice this? Seek what
is above, where Jesus is. Seek His will,
His kingdom, His glory. Seek the
advancement of His kingdom and glory over the earth.
But what
does that look like?
Jesus is
going to reign forevermore, and I will reign with Him and share in His
glory! That is what He is preparing me
for in this earthly life. Right now, on
this earth, we are co-workers with Christ….co-creators with Him in the
restoration of all things which will be completed when He returns as King! We are a part of His restoration work
here. We have been newly created in
Christ for particular good works that He has prepared for us to carry out in
His name! That is our purpose and our
calling on this earth. And of primary
importance, our purpose is to know God intimately and to grow continually in
our knowledge of Him. As a result of
this, our lives here will be effective and fruitful in bringing Him glory and
accomplishing His will!
So the
question remains: what does this look like in practical, daily life? How do I throw off the things that are not necessary
to an effective daily life, the things that slow me down and dim my sight of
eternity? How do I maintain a proper
perspective towards the responsibilities, opportunities, and tasks that are a
necessary part of daily life? How do I
determine what to emphasize more….the things I need to practice with increasing
passion and perseverance in order to develop the gifts God has placed in me,
grow in Christ’s character, and be the most effective me?
I have
plenty of grand, searching questions, but I lack answers. Yet the Word says, “If any man lack wisdom,
let him ask of God.” It says that Jesus
has become my wisdom from God. His life
in me supplies all the wisdom and all the resources I need for life and
godliness. So then the question is how
can I tap into this source of amazing life and wisdom?
Ask. I
must ask Him. You must ask Him. He said, “Ask, and you will receive.”
Because life
is bigger than the backyard.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
Life is tough.
Sometimes it is downright chaos.
Sometimes we get lost.
I've been a little lost lately. There are so many things I wanted to write. Many things still left to share from my time in Romania. Pictures to post. I've been back in the States nearly two weeks and where does the time go? People want to hear about my experiences and I don't want to keep it to myself, but sometimes the words won't come.
I came home eager to see my family and make things festively fun for the holidays and enjoy Christmas. Funny thing is,life doesn't stick to my script. I should know that by now. Christmas is all about God with us. But Jesus didn't come to make our lives all warm and cozy and fun,, He didn't come to give us a beautifully constructed holiday celebration, full of tastefully decorated homes, special food, thoughtful gifts, warm fuzzies, happy music, and family harmony. All of these things are great when you have them, and we can give thanks in our enjoyment of them. But they don't make Christmas.
And what about when life gets messy? When fear and faith collide in your soul and it gets ugly? When your eyes begin to open wider to the cosmic war we live in, the war between two kingdoms...and you feel powerless to stand? When hearts are broken and family is complicated and we struggle to understand, to make some connection? When the needs and pressures and work and junk of everyday life keeps piling up and overwhelming you and it's all you can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other?
I'm not writing because I have any answers or some fresh insight to share. I'm writing because I'm full of questions. Because I don't understand. Because I'm just trying to keep my head above water. And trying desperately to cling to the belief that God's plans for me, for all of us, are hope and a good future. Not because life will get easier. Not because we've been promised the answers. Not because we're ever going to feel equal to the task.
Simply because God is here. And He is our hope. He is our future.
We fill ourselves up with so much stuff and think we have it pretty good and it's easy to forget that our only good in life is God. That without Him, we have nothing. We are poor, blind, naked, destitute. Apart from Christ, we are pitiable wretches.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.....
I have done nothing to deserve redemption. Jesus has done everything.
I. Need. Jesus.
The more I travel this life, the less I seem to know. But I know this....I need Him. I don't know it enough. I want to know it more. There is nothing that matters more in this life than to know the one thing John Newton still remembered at the end of his life.....
"I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great Savior."
John Newton has become one of my mentors of late, as I have been reading a wonderful book compiled from his scores of pastoral letters throughout the years of his service to Christ. Newton On The Christian Life by Tony Reinke is a rare, golden gem of a book. This is a bit of a rabbit trail, but if you can get your hands on a copy, I highly recommend the reading. I've read a ton of books, and I don't usually mark them up, but when I had gotten a short way into this one and was compelled to pull out my highlighters and start underlining, I knew this was a special book! John Newton was filled with Godly wisdom, and He clung to the simple power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He wrote letter after letter to friends and those under his spiritual care, encouraging and challenging them in the Christian life. Now his writings are feeding my soul with the rich truths of the Gospel.
I don't know a better way to tie down this wandering post than with another gem of wisdom from the lips of Newton. I quote:
"This is faith: a renouncing of everything we are apt to call our own, and relying wholly upon the blood, righteousness, and intercession of Jesus."
This is profound. This is what I am truly wrestling with right now. To lay down everything I think I am and everything I wish to be and whatever others may think I am and everything else that gives me some sort of merit in my own mind. To lay down all of my efforts to build a better me. To embrace the reality that I will always be wholly insufficient and bankrupt, and to cast myself fully on the all-sufficiency of my Savior Jesus.
He is ALL my righteousness. ALL my wisdom. ALL my sanctification. ALL that is lacking in me. ALL I can never be, never do for God. The Victory I can never win. The Love I can never give. The Fruit I can never produce. It is the power of Christ living in me that will do the impossible. Christ in me, the hope of glory. (Col. 1:27) My only hope of bringing glory to God, now and forever.
So yes, I've been a bit lost. There is so much I can't make sense of. There is the pain of everything that is not what it should be. There is the crush of endless things unsaid, undone, undeveloped, unfinished. But I still have hope. I will let John Newton close for me because he expresses this hope so well....
"I am not what I ought to be; I am not what I want to be; I am not what I hope to be in another world: but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am." -John Newton
Sometimes it is downright chaos.
Sometimes we get lost.
I've been a little lost lately. There are so many things I wanted to write. Many things still left to share from my time in Romania. Pictures to post. I've been back in the States nearly two weeks and where does the time go? People want to hear about my experiences and I don't want to keep it to myself, but sometimes the words won't come.
I came home eager to see my family and make things festively fun for the holidays and enjoy Christmas. Funny thing is,life doesn't stick to my script. I should know that by now. Christmas is all about God with us. But Jesus didn't come to make our lives all warm and cozy and fun,, He didn't come to give us a beautifully constructed holiday celebration, full of tastefully decorated homes, special food, thoughtful gifts, warm fuzzies, happy music, and family harmony. All of these things are great when you have them, and we can give thanks in our enjoyment of them. But they don't make Christmas.
And what about when life gets messy? When fear and faith collide in your soul and it gets ugly? When your eyes begin to open wider to the cosmic war we live in, the war between two kingdoms...and you feel powerless to stand? When hearts are broken and family is complicated and we struggle to understand, to make some connection? When the needs and pressures and work and junk of everyday life keeps piling up and overwhelming you and it's all you can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other?
I'm not writing because I have any answers or some fresh insight to share. I'm writing because I'm full of questions. Because I don't understand. Because I'm just trying to keep my head above water. And trying desperately to cling to the belief that God's plans for me, for all of us, are hope and a good future. Not because life will get easier. Not because we've been promised the answers. Not because we're ever going to feel equal to the task.
Simply because God is here. And He is our hope. He is our future.
We fill ourselves up with so much stuff and think we have it pretty good and it's easy to forget that our only good in life is God. That without Him, we have nothing. We are poor, blind, naked, destitute. Apart from Christ, we are pitiable wretches.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.....
I have done nothing to deserve redemption. Jesus has done everything.
I. Need. Jesus.
The more I travel this life, the less I seem to know. But I know this....I need Him. I don't know it enough. I want to know it more. There is nothing that matters more in this life than to know the one thing John Newton still remembered at the end of his life.....
"I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great Savior."
John Newton has become one of my mentors of late, as I have been reading a wonderful book compiled from his scores of pastoral letters throughout the years of his service to Christ. Newton On The Christian Life by Tony Reinke is a rare, golden gem of a book. This is a bit of a rabbit trail, but if you can get your hands on a copy, I highly recommend the reading. I've read a ton of books, and I don't usually mark them up, but when I had gotten a short way into this one and was compelled to pull out my highlighters and start underlining, I knew this was a special book! John Newton was filled with Godly wisdom, and He clung to the simple power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He wrote letter after letter to friends and those under his spiritual care, encouraging and challenging them in the Christian life. Now his writings are feeding my soul with the rich truths of the Gospel.
I don't know a better way to tie down this wandering post than with another gem of wisdom from the lips of Newton. I quote:
"This is faith: a renouncing of everything we are apt to call our own, and relying wholly upon the blood, righteousness, and intercession of Jesus."
This is profound. This is what I am truly wrestling with right now. To lay down everything I think I am and everything I wish to be and whatever others may think I am and everything else that gives me some sort of merit in my own mind. To lay down all of my efforts to build a better me. To embrace the reality that I will always be wholly insufficient and bankrupt, and to cast myself fully on the all-sufficiency of my Savior Jesus.
He is ALL my righteousness. ALL my wisdom. ALL my sanctification. ALL that is lacking in me. ALL I can never be, never do for God. The Victory I can never win. The Love I can never give. The Fruit I can never produce. It is the power of Christ living in me that will do the impossible. Christ in me, the hope of glory. (Col. 1:27) My only hope of bringing glory to God, now and forever.
So yes, I've been a bit lost. There is so much I can't make sense of. There is the pain of everything that is not what it should be. There is the crush of endless things unsaid, undone, undeveloped, unfinished. But I still have hope. I will let John Newton close for me because he expresses this hope so well....
"I am not what I ought to be; I am not what I want to be; I am not what I hope to be in another world: but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am." -John Newton
Friday, November 13, 2015
Beyond The Wardrobe: Under The Waterfall
"If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink! Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water." John 7:37-38
So....that week back in July when I stepped through the wardrobe....when I entered this unique fellowship called the Lamplighter Guild?
It was like standing under a waterfall.
I was overwhelmingly drenched in the love of Jesus, in the living, transforming power of His words, in the intimacy of His call for me to share in His creative work on earth! I surrendered my whole being to His fullness and was carried away in the flood of His glory!
I was experiencing the water of Life....the Life of Jesus coursing over me and through me as I had never known before. I can't describe to you the wonder of the moment when this revelation began to break over my heart and mind. I felt as if I'd been waiting my entire life for this. Even though I became a child of God at a tender age, I spent much of my life drinking from polluted, broken cisterns. How do you explain the way God breaks a dam, the way living water suddenly flows freely through a soul? I knew that at last I was drinking deeply of the Living Water, deeper than I had ever tasted before.....and it drove out every other thirst. All those years, I had known with my head that Jesus offers Living Water that is supposed to satisfy my soul. Since that week at the Guild, I know it is real. I know it in the depths of my being.
Do you want to know what happened as I was caught up in the exhilaration of the waterfall pouring over me? The enemy tried to sabotage my joy. He sent fear to present me with a picture. I saw myself standing under this immense waterfall with a measly little cup. There I was, trying desperately to catch what I could of this life-giving water, so I could hold onto it after the rush was over. You know what it feels like when you have a spiritual mountaintop experience, It is so wonderful while it lasts....but then you have to go back down into the valley, and soon the glory fades away. Fear was telling me that when I left the atmosphere and community of the Guild, I would be leaving the waterfall behind. What precious little I could keep contained in my cup was all I would retain of this water. I would try to hoard my treasure to make it last....but it could only last so long.
When I asked Jesus to confront this fear, He showed me what I wasn't seeing....I was never meant to hold this water.
Yes, you can hold a bit of water in a cup. But you can't hold a waterfall.
I never had the waterfall in my hands. The waterfall had me. Captured in the torrent of Someone far stronger than myself. Filled to overflowing with a Life that has no limits.
And this idea that leaving the Guild would mean walking away from the waterfall? Lies.
No one lives under a waterfall. But although I stepped out of the torrent, I never have to leave this driving force, this source of vibrant life.
The waterfall is inside me.
I will not always or often experience this rushing, roaring, soaking, euphoric force....rather it becomes the very life flowing through my veins, my entire essence....as I continually drink from the essence of Christ in me! This is the Living Water that Jesus speaks of in the Bible. It is Jesus Himself, His very life flowing through us. He is always filling us, spilling over us, flowing through us, sustaining us in every aspect and every season of our lives.
Jesus invites every one of us to come to Him and drink. He says, "Everyone who drinks of this water (anything other than Christ that we seek to satisfy ourselves) will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a SPRING of Living Water WELLING UP to eternal life." John 4
Scripture describes the water of life as a well, a fountain, a spring, and a river. As I meditated on these things, the Holy Spirit showed me different ways that this water can work in our lives.
One of the key Scriptures we looked at during the Guild is Romans 5:3-5.
"we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
God was emphasizing to us the necessary work of suffering in the believer's life. We saw that sometimes He chooses to wound us, out of His sovereign love, in order to bring us into deeper intimacy with Himself, the only One who can complete us. That deeper intimacy expresses itself in worship.
A well is deep. Some wells are drilled deep into rock to find a source of pure underground water. Suffering in our lives is like the drill, painfully penetrating deep into the layers of a heart, producing intense pressure, until it seems that something must break. But God says He is near to the brokenhearted. And when our hearts break under the pressure of His hand, what comes forth is the life of Jesus Christ! Only God knows how to tap into the deep waters of a heart that is trusting in Him, and so the suffering produces character....like drilling into rock to reach pure, cold water. And the Living Water begins to well up stronger in joy....the joy of the Lord is our strength! This joy is greater than the pain of temporary circumstances and the trials of life. The greater the pressure of the underground water, the stronger it wells up towards the surface, until it flows out in a spring of fresh hope....hope that will not disappoint us because it is not based on earthly things, but on the eternal promises of God.
So out of the deep places of suffering, the water wells up in joy and flows out in hope.....and now picture a fountain springing high into the air....this life of Jesus within you can no longer be contained, and it springs up in worship....this greater, intimate knowledge of Jesus that comes out of suffering and being formed into His character! As you see Him better, you will be in awe of His beauty, love, and mercy. His beauty makes your life attractive to others, just like a sparkling, gushing fountain of refreshing water.
And then come the rivers....as Jesus proclaimed, rivers of living water flow out of your heart. Not a river....but RIVERS! So the life of Jesus flows from you in different directions, touching the people close to you, and running farther out to everyone who encounters your life, until the influence of your life in Christ is reaching people you don't even know about in ways you can't imagine! All of us who have been re-born in Christ carry His life to the world....we carry His Story to all the people, the objects of His unfathomable love!
The last thing I want to bring out is that water is fluid. It is like art....creative and unique in every life. It is always in motion, changing shape and direction and intensity. But this life of Jesus in us will steadily increase in its intensity, through the constant working of the Holy Spirit. It keeps welling up stronger into the eternal life that is ours in Christ, and as we grow in our intimate knowledge of Him, we grow in the conscious experience of eternal life. This water keeps moving forward, keeps cleansing us of every impurity, keeps carrying us further in to the grace and power and presence of Jesus.
And the Water of Life never runs dry. It is endless, relentless, and will never leave you.
The waterfall is inside you.
Amen, Lord Jesus.....let the river flow!
So....that week back in July when I stepped through the wardrobe....when I entered this unique fellowship called the Lamplighter Guild?
It was like standing under a waterfall.
I was overwhelmingly drenched in the love of Jesus, in the living, transforming power of His words, in the intimacy of His call for me to share in His creative work on earth! I surrendered my whole being to His fullness and was carried away in the flood of His glory!
I was experiencing the water of Life....the Life of Jesus coursing over me and through me as I had never known before. I can't describe to you the wonder of the moment when this revelation began to break over my heart and mind. I felt as if I'd been waiting my entire life for this. Even though I became a child of God at a tender age, I spent much of my life drinking from polluted, broken cisterns. How do you explain the way God breaks a dam, the way living water suddenly flows freely through a soul? I knew that at last I was drinking deeply of the Living Water, deeper than I had ever tasted before.....and it drove out every other thirst. All those years, I had known with my head that Jesus offers Living Water that is supposed to satisfy my soul. Since that week at the Guild, I know it is real. I know it in the depths of my being.
Do you want to know what happened as I was caught up in the exhilaration of the waterfall pouring over me? The enemy tried to sabotage my joy. He sent fear to present me with a picture. I saw myself standing under this immense waterfall with a measly little cup. There I was, trying desperately to catch what I could of this life-giving water, so I could hold onto it after the rush was over. You know what it feels like when you have a spiritual mountaintop experience, It is so wonderful while it lasts....but then you have to go back down into the valley, and soon the glory fades away. Fear was telling me that when I left the atmosphere and community of the Guild, I would be leaving the waterfall behind. What precious little I could keep contained in my cup was all I would retain of this water. I would try to hoard my treasure to make it last....but it could only last so long.
When I asked Jesus to confront this fear, He showed me what I wasn't seeing....I was never meant to hold this water.
Yes, you can hold a bit of water in a cup. But you can't hold a waterfall.
I never had the waterfall in my hands. The waterfall had me. Captured in the torrent of Someone far stronger than myself. Filled to overflowing with a Life that has no limits.
And this idea that leaving the Guild would mean walking away from the waterfall? Lies.
No one lives under a waterfall. But although I stepped out of the torrent, I never have to leave this driving force, this source of vibrant life.
The waterfall is inside me.
I will not always or often experience this rushing, roaring, soaking, euphoric force....rather it becomes the very life flowing through my veins, my entire essence....as I continually drink from the essence of Christ in me! This is the Living Water that Jesus speaks of in the Bible. It is Jesus Himself, His very life flowing through us. He is always filling us, spilling over us, flowing through us, sustaining us in every aspect and every season of our lives.
Jesus invites every one of us to come to Him and drink. He says, "Everyone who drinks of this water (anything other than Christ that we seek to satisfy ourselves) will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a SPRING of Living Water WELLING UP to eternal life." John 4
Scripture describes the water of life as a well, a fountain, a spring, and a river. As I meditated on these things, the Holy Spirit showed me different ways that this water can work in our lives.
One of the key Scriptures we looked at during the Guild is Romans 5:3-5.
"we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
God was emphasizing to us the necessary work of suffering in the believer's life. We saw that sometimes He chooses to wound us, out of His sovereign love, in order to bring us into deeper intimacy with Himself, the only One who can complete us. That deeper intimacy expresses itself in worship.
A well is deep. Some wells are drilled deep into rock to find a source of pure underground water. Suffering in our lives is like the drill, painfully penetrating deep into the layers of a heart, producing intense pressure, until it seems that something must break. But God says He is near to the brokenhearted. And when our hearts break under the pressure of His hand, what comes forth is the life of Jesus Christ! Only God knows how to tap into the deep waters of a heart that is trusting in Him, and so the suffering produces character....like drilling into rock to reach pure, cold water. And the Living Water begins to well up stronger in joy....the joy of the Lord is our strength! This joy is greater than the pain of temporary circumstances and the trials of life. The greater the pressure of the underground water, the stronger it wells up towards the surface, until it flows out in a spring of fresh hope....hope that will not disappoint us because it is not based on earthly things, but on the eternal promises of God.
So out of the deep places of suffering, the water wells up in joy and flows out in hope.....and now picture a fountain springing high into the air....this life of Jesus within you can no longer be contained, and it springs up in worship....this greater, intimate knowledge of Jesus that comes out of suffering and being formed into His character! As you see Him better, you will be in awe of His beauty, love, and mercy. His beauty makes your life attractive to others, just like a sparkling, gushing fountain of refreshing water.
And then come the rivers....as Jesus proclaimed, rivers of living water flow out of your heart. Not a river....but RIVERS! So the life of Jesus flows from you in different directions, touching the people close to you, and running farther out to everyone who encounters your life, until the influence of your life in Christ is reaching people you don't even know about in ways you can't imagine! All of us who have been re-born in Christ carry His life to the world....we carry His Story to all the people, the objects of His unfathomable love!
The last thing I want to bring out is that water is fluid. It is like art....creative and unique in every life. It is always in motion, changing shape and direction and intensity. But this life of Jesus in us will steadily increase in its intensity, through the constant working of the Holy Spirit. It keeps welling up stronger into the eternal life that is ours in Christ, and as we grow in our intimate knowledge of Him, we grow in the conscious experience of eternal life. This water keeps moving forward, keeps cleansing us of every impurity, keeps carrying us further in to the grace and power and presence of Jesus.
And the Water of Life never runs dry. It is endless, relentless, and will never leave you.
The waterfall is inside you.
Amen, Lord Jesus.....let the river flow!
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